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Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
15510
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Posted - 2014.07.21 21:38:00 -
[1] - Quote
Quote:According to Badass Digest , the new movie will begin with Daisy Ridley and John Boyega 's characters discovering Luke Skywalker's severed hand 30 years after Return of the Jedi ends. The duo then team up with Han Solo and Chewbacca to track down the vanquished Jedi master.
Quote: Imagine the standard Star Wars crawl, and when it ends the camera pans up to the stars. But instead of a spaceship zooming into frame we see... a hand! A severed hand, tumbling through space. A severed hand gripping a light saber.
That hand falls onto a desert planet, where it is discovered by characters who will be our heroes. One is Daisy Ridley. The other is John Boyega, who is playing someone trying to change his path in life (again, I'm keeping it vague here). They recognize the light saber as a Jedi relic and decide to return it to the proper people.
Their quest takes them off world, and they meet up with Han Solo and Chewbacca, who aren't flying around in the Millenium Falcon anymore but are piloting... well, that could be a spoiler. I'll leave it. Anyway, Han and Chewie recognize the light saber as Luke's, and they say they haven't seen their friend in thirty years, since the events of Return of the Jedi.
So begins a quest to find the missing Jedi Master. Meanwhile, on an ice planet, nefarious forces are building a super weapon, one capable of destroying not planets but entire solar systems...
Well, here is a space desiccated and atmospheric re-entry charred hand, gripping a lightsaber. Better raid the old folks home for some tour guides and go on a 3 episode adventure to save the universe because its owner might want it back. The hand that is.. because im sure the lightsaber is useless now.
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
15510
|
Posted - 2014.07.21 22:34:00 -
[2] - Quote
Mudkest wrote:what, so he lost his other hand as well? or did theye find the one that got severed by his daddy?
Well.. technically he lost that one down the doughnut hole in the Bespin Mining Colony.. which for some reason is all the architectural rage in the SW universe... anyways, then were pretty sure it dropped out of one of those garbage hole things that they strategically placed above some communications gear.. so.. yeah.. I cant see JJ abrams writing a script about a 34 year old severed hand.. but hey.. I guess weve experienced worse writing.
..and if he lost his other hand as well.. hmmm..
Technologically advanced societies, interstellar travel, insanely short distanced kessel runs in freighters, cloned armies... no one thought to develop the "light-saber proof" glove... seriously.. WTF.
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
15515
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Posted - 2014.07.21 23:17:00 -
[3] - Quote
Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:I'm gonna remain highly skeptical of that article.
We shall see............
I find your lack of faith in Badass Digest to be disturbing...
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
15519
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Posted - 2014.07.22 00:04:00 -
[4] - Quote
Nose' Feliciano wrote:Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:I'm gonna remain highly skeptical of that article.
We shall see............ I find your lack of faith in Badass Digest to be disturbing... *waves hand * - like he's dispersing a jedi fart.
Im sure a Jedi would make you think that it was you in fact you who farted.
The mind trick is cool and all.. but the choking someone though the com lines.. THAT is a skill I could get into..
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
15522
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Posted - 2014.07.22 01:01:00 -
[5] - Quote
One of my personal favorite clips.
I am known for saying "take THAT George Washington!" in the office...
No one gets it but Steve.
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
15545
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Posted - 2014.07.22 16:46:00 -
[6] - Quote
I say for the 20 year anniversary edition of the prequels, we redo them completely, ill pen the script.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - UAE Edition.
Stuff happens. Jar-Jar is run over and killed by Droid Tank. Rest of series never happens because it was all Jar-Jar's fault.
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
15585
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Posted - 2014.07.22 22:30:00 -
[7] - Quote
Ada Vokan wrote:I've been deliberately keeping my expectations low.
Maybe I need to lower them further.
Dump your expectations in the Marianas Trench. Then, when James Cameron replaces JJ Abrams as director, he can swoop down and find them for you!
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
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